AnIMal Chat
by Fleeting Eternity
Summary: When Skipper and Kowalski set up the penguins and the lemurs with computers, they make sure to IM each other every night. Here are their IMs, ranging from random, to serious, to awkward, and everything inbetween. More to come!
1. Session 1

Hmmm… names, oh, names…

Skipper: skippy

Kowalski: smartypants

Rico: l00secaNN0n

Private: cutencuddly

Julien: He rotates between names; you'll figure out who's who. ;)

Maurice: s3cr3tgngstr

Mort: footfetish

Marlene: mizzottah

_Please enjoy! I actually monitored me and my friends' IMs to see how we type, so then I incorporated it into this. _;)

* * *

_**skippy has signed on**_

**skippy: **wow… i set the whole internet chat up and no one shows?! :(

_**meandmyJJ has signed on**_

**meandmyJJ: **hello, neighbor!

**skippy: **julien, ur screen name is "me and my JJ"? rly?

**meandmyJJ: **skipper, ur screen name is "skippy"? rly?

**skippy: **private made me do it…

_**cutencuddly has signed on**_

**skippy: **well, look who it is

**cutencuddly: **ello skipper!

**skippy: **…

**meandmyJJ: **hmm… ur right, i do need a new screen name. brb

_**meandmyJJ has signed off**_

**skippy: **well this is a total bust

**cutencuddly: **not entirely, skipper

**skippy: **private, remind me, y did i set this up again?

**cutencuddly: **cuz kowalski wanted us to "be more familiar with the internet". besides, it's pretty cool chatting w/ u like this

**skippy: **private, i can look up and ur only ten feet away from me! we don't need this, plus we're wasting our time! i'm gonna sign off…

_**sexy_lemur_king has signed on**_

**sexy_lemur_king: **what do you think of my new screen name?? :D

**cutencuddly: **uh…

**skippy: **wow, i'm rly happy i didn't sign off

**sexy_lemur_king: **i wnted 2 pick something tht deeply describes me

**skippy: **oh, god, save us all…

_**s3cr3tgngstr has signed on**_

**cutencuddly: **speaking of names tht deeply describe us…

**s3cr3tgnstr: **guess who!

**sexy_lemur_king: **maurice!

**s3cr3tgnstr: **julien?

**sexy_lemur_king: **yes! how did u know?

**s3cr3tgnstr: **well ur the only lemur king i know

**skippy: **oh COME ON! the "sexy" part didn't giv it away?

**sexy_lemur_king: **ooohhh, skipper! u think i'm sexy?

**skippy: **heck no! but u'd be the only one to call urself sexy

_**mizzottah has signed on**_

**mizzottah: **hey u guys! what cha talking about?

**sexy_lemur_king: **how sexy i am

**mizzottah: **uh… okay… i don't even wanna know how u boys got on this subject

**sexy_lemur_king: **skipper brought it up

**mizzottah: **_skipper?_

**skippy: **plz don't ask

**cutencuddly: **it was a very long string of events…

**mizzottah: **uh huh…

**s3cr3tgngstr: **well, this has been sufficiently awkward

**mizzottah: **maurice, ur screen name is "secret gangster"?

**s3cr3tgnster: **NO! it's "s3cr3tgngster"

**mizzottah: **that's just wat i…! ugh, nvrmind

**s3cr3tgngstr: **the e's just look cooler w/ 3's

_**smartypants has signed on**_

**smartypants:**well i c my chat idea is populr!

**skippy: **oh, yes, this is so fun…

**smartypants: **tht was sarcastic, wasn't it?

**sexy_lemur_king: **no duh

**smartypants: **uh, julien… ur screen name…?

**sexy_lemur_king: **i swear, if i get one more comment about my screen name…!

**smartypants: **so wat hav i missed?

**cutencuddly: **nothing. absolutely nothing.

**smartypants: **alright…

_**l00secaNN0n has signed on**_

**l00secaNN0n: **HEY!!

**mizzottah: **nice rico! now THAT'S a screen name! XD

**sexy_lemur_king: **no, mine's still boss

**s3cr3tgnstr: **now that we're all here, can we at least cum up w/ a topic to tlk about?

**sexy_lemur_king: **hehe… yeah, cuz we're all here and no one's missing…

**cutencuddly: **wait, wat about mort?

**s3cr3tgnstr: **ha, i almost frgt! i'll get him now!

**sexy_lemur_king: **DON'T U DARE!!!

_**footfetish has signed on**_

**footfetish: **HIIII

_**sexy_lemur_king has signed off**_

**s3cr3tgngstr: **too late

**footfetish: **where's king julien?

**skippy: **he hit the ground running when u signed on

**footfetish: **:(

_**footfetish has signed off**_

**mizzotter: **tht was fast

**l00secaNN0n: **FAAAST!!

**smartypants: **quite frankly we probably all need 2 sign off, it's getting pretty late

**cutencuddly: **true… and i am getting pretty tired. night!

_**cutencuddly has signed off**_

_**l00secaNN0n has signed off**_

_**smartypants has signed off**_

**skippy: **well… it's just us 3, 4 now

**s3cr3tgngstr: **oh, sorry guys, julien's having another fit about his feet. catch ya 2morrow

_**s3cr3tgngstr has signed off**_

**mizzottah: **guess it's just u and me, skippy

_**skippy has signed off**_

**mizzottah: **i stand corrected

_**mizzottah has signed off**_


	2. Session 2

_**smartypants has signed on**_

_**l00secaNN0n has signed on**_

**smartypants: **hey, hey! rico!

**l00secaNN0n: **HEEEYY!

**smartypants: **anything new 2 report?

**l00secaNN0n: **mmm… nuh uh

**smartypants: **that is true, we just finished tlking 2 each othr a few scnds ago…

_**mizzottah has signed on**_

**mizzottah: **hey guys!

**smartypants: **marlene! now it's a party!

**mizzottah: **has skipper signed on?

**smartypants: **he probably won't b abl 2 make it 2night, he's doing training w/ private

**mizzottah: **oh

_**s3cr3tgngstr has signed on**_

**l00secaNN0n: **MAURICE!!

**s3cr3tgngstr: **hey u guys…

**smartypants: **something wrong?

**s3cr3tgngstr: **it's just julien again; he got in2 anthr batch of bad leachy nuts

**smartypants: **y didn't u tell us?! we cld'v hlpd!

**s3cr3tgngstr: **well it doesn't mtr, he's ok now

_**footfetish has signed on**_

**footfetish: **hiiii

_**skippy has signed on**_

**skippy: **surprise

**mizzottah: **weren't u and private training?

**skippy: **we decided 2 take a break

**mizzottah: **since when hav u become so lenient?

**skippy: **since private beat me at arm wrestling…

**l00secaNN0n: **WHAT?!

**smartypants: **ha! _private _beat _u_?

**mizzottah: **i refuse 2 believe it until i c it 4 myself!

**footfetish: **then again… i beat u at arm wrestling… _remember_? :D

**skippy: **shut it, fuzzy

**s3cr3tgngstr: **that's hysterical! plz get it on film next time!

**skippy: **:P

_**cutencuddly has signed on**_

**cutencuddly: **_iiiiii am the champion!!!_

**skippy: **u won't b so lucky nxt time, private! mark my wrds!

**cutencuddly: **ah, yes, i'll make sure 2 write that remindr down somewhere…

**l00secaNN0n: **LOSER!!! XD

_**sexy_lemur_king has signed on**_

**sexy_lemur_king: **sorry i'm late! i wuz "surfing the web" as they say, and i found sum very interesting things!!

**footfetish: **i knew u would cum! i was _waiting _4 u!!

**sexy_lemur_king: **…

**smartypants: **no comment

**mizzottah: **ditto

**sexy_lemur_king: **anyway… look at wat i learned how 2 do online!! (~^.^)~ ~(^.^)~ ~(^.^~)

**skippy: **what the heck is that?

**sexy_lemur_king: **i call it… THE KIRBY DANCE!! *dramatic music*

**cutencuddly: **epic.

**sexy_lemur_king: **isn't it, tho?! i just want 2 pinch it, it's so adorable!! XD

**smartypants: **right…

**sexy_lemur_king: **yeah, uh huh, u say that, while on the inside u r thinking of how genius I am!! ha ha!

**s3cr3tgngstr: **so r u feeling bettr, julien?

**sexy_lemur_king: **wat do u mean?

**s3cr3tgngstr: **wat do u mean, "wat do u mean"?

**sexy_lemur_king: **wat?

**footfetish: **wat?

**mizzottah: **i'm totally lost

**sexy_lemur_king: **oh! u mean from me getting "sick" by the "spoiled leachy nuts"?

**s3cr3tgngstr: **wat do u mean?

**sexy_lemur_king: **wat?

**skippy: **PLZ don't go down this road again!!

**sexy_lemur_king: **wat i mean is: i faked being sick

**s3cr3tgngstr: **uh… WHY?

**sexy_lemur_king: **becuz those vibrating beds r just so darn comfy!!

**smartypants: **-.-

**mizzottah: **definitely an epic fail, dude

**sexy_lemur_king: **puh-leez! that was NO WHERE CLOSE 2 an epic fail! if u evr decide 2 lay on 1 of those beds, then u'll know the pleasures of which i am speaking of :3

**mizzottah: **i'll keep tht in mind…

**sexy_lemur_king: **okay, who wants to take a "romance" quiz?! :D

_**skippy has signed off**_

**sexy_lemur_king: **alright… any1 else wanna leave?

**cutencuddly: **does it HAV to b a romance quiz?

**smartypants: **how about something less… embarrassing… like a science quiz!

**s3cr3tgngstr: **i'd rathr stick w/ the romance quiz

**sexy_lemur_king: **okay! question number 1: where is your ideal make-out spot?

**smartypants: **uh… er…

**cutencuddly: **what is that?

**mizzottah: **…

**smartypants: **PRIVATE, COVER YOUR EYES!

**sexy_lemur_king: **personally, i prefer leaning up against a tree trunk—it provides a strdy "platform" if u know wat I mean

**s3cr3tgngstr: **oh yeah, cuz u hav so much experience w/ girls, don't ya?

**sexy_lemur_king: ***death glare*

**s3cr3tgngstr: **hehe

**sexy_lemur_king: **moving on… question 2: while making out w/ ur girlfriend, would u rather hold her face or hips? ugh, HIPS, DUH!!

**smartypants: **i'd rathr keep away at a safe distance…

**mizzottah: **i'm starting 2 get a strange feeling that this is a romance quiz for _guys_

**cutencuddly: **this quiz is confusing me…

**smartypants: **PRIVATE, I TOLD U NOT 2 LOOK!!

**cutencuddly: **well if it's so inappropriate, then y r u tlking about it?

**smartypants: **good question… *glares at julien*

**sexy_lemur_king: **well i personally find this to be _very _interesting. if u don't like it, u can leave!

_**cutencuddly has signed off**_

**sexy_lemur_king: **strange… i was expecting marlene to leave

**mizzottah: **oh NO, i want 2 c wat u guys think is actually romantic! hey, someone get skipper 2 come back on! ha, this is gonna be classic!

**l00secaNN0n: **GET SKIPPER!!

_**l00secaNN0n has signed off**_

**sexy_lemur_king: **while we wait 4 skipper, let's go ahead w/ question 3

**s3cr3tgngstr: **joy

**sexy_lemur_king: **how many days aftr having a serious relationship w/ a woman do u choose 2 make love?

**smartypants: **O.O WHO THE HECK MADE UP THIS QUIZ??

**sexy_lemur_king: **that's a good question… i'd say 1 week

**mizzottah: **oh, lord, julien… where did u pull that number out of?!

**sexy_lemur_king: **u don't estimate, marlene, u FEEL it!

**s3cr3tgngstr: **that's wat she said

**smartypants: **nice _Office _reference

**s3cr3tgngstr: **thank u

_**skippy has signed on**_

**skippy: **alright, wat about this stupid romance quiz is so important?

**sexy_lemur_king: **marlene wnted 2 c ur response 2 question 3

**skippy: **wat's question 3?

**mizzottah: **this is gonna be good

**sexy_lemur_king: **how many days aftr having a serious relationship w/ a woman do u choose 2 make love?

**skippy: **WHAT?! y does marlene care??

**mizzottah: **u boys entertain me so, so much :)

**smartypants: **oh, come on skipper, this question shouldn't b hard 4 u; just think back 2 ur honeymoon w/ ms. bobble head

**sexy_lemur_king: **oooh, he totally pwned u, man

**skippy: **kowalski… i DID NOT hav sex w/ "ms. bobble head"!!

**smartypants: **oh, PLZ! i heard u 2 goin at it in the hotel

**mizzottah: **er… should i leave?

**sexy_lemur_king: **aaah, penguin and bobble head luv, it doesn't get any btr!

**skippy: **U WER SPYING ON US IN THE HOTEL ROOM!!??

**smartypants: **no, no, skipper—u just kiss REALLY loudly

**s3cr3tgngstr: **uh, guys…

**skippy: **how does some1 kiss loudly?!

**smartypants: **when u make sounds like this: ooouum, aaahhh, iim, 0000AAAM!! closely followed by many "ur so sexy"s.

**mizzottah: **okay, WAY too much information!

**sexy_lemur_king: **hey, hey! skipper, i didn't know u wer such a player!

**skippy: **kowalski… get. off. the. computer. NOW.

**smartypants: **wat? u can't take a joke?

**skippy: **NOW, SOLDIER!

_**smartypants has signed off**_

**skippy: **excuse me while i go pelt him w/ bricks

_**skippy has signed off**_

**s3cr3tgngstr: **y is it tht we can't get I nrmal conversation going?

**mizzottah: **idk… but i think i'm gonna go check up on kowalski… i don't wanna wake up 2morrow morning and find him dead

_**mizzottah has signed off**_

**s3cr3tgngster: **yeah, i think i'm through, too. c u guys l8r

_**s3cr3tgngstr has signed off**_

**footfetish: **YAY! now it's just u and me, king julien!!

**sexy_lemur_king: **mort? i completely forgot u wer here…

**footfetish: **tht was all part of my plan! keep quiet until the very end!!

**sexy_lemur_king: **…so u saw the romance quiz?

**footfetish: **yep!

**sexy_lemur_king: **holy crap!!

**footfetish: **so u'd seriously only wait a week?! i prefer 2 take relationships slow, and—

_**sexy_lemur_king has signed off**_

**footfetish: **1 of these days my plan WILL fully succeed!!

_**footfetish has signed off**_


	3. Session 3

_**s3cr3tgngstr has signed on**_

_**dancinfool has signed on**_

**s3cr3tgngstr: **hey! u changed ur screen name again?

**dancinfool: **yeah, i've had the othr 1 frevr; it was just time 4 a chng

**s3cr3tgngstr: **yeah, i get ya

**dancinfool: **so i'v been working on sum new dance steps!

**s3cr3tgngstr: **wat do u need new dance steps 4?

**dancinfool: **uh… hello! hav u completely forgotn about the zoo employee dance prty?

**s3cr3tgngstr: **the wat?

**dancinfool: **ugh… the. zoo. employee. dance. prty.

**s3cr3tgngstr: **ur not invited 2 tht!

**dancinfool: **and y not?!

**s3cr3tgngstr: **becuz ur an animal!!

**dancinfool: **oh…! *blushes* well i didn't know i could dance THAT well!

**s3cr3tgngstr: **that's ALL U TALK ABOUT! "Hey! Look at how well my kingly booty is shaking! Come do it with me!"

**dancinfool: **hmm… well i nvr remember using the adjective "kingly"

**s3cr3tgngstr: **…

**dancinfool: **wat?

**s3cr3tgngstr: **ur kidding me, rite?

**dancinfool: **no

**s3cr3tgngstr: **right…

**dancinfool: **as i was saying; wat do u think i should wear? they said 2 go casual, but i don't think they mean blue jean casual, amirite? XD

**s3cr3tgngstr: **ok… 4 the last time… U CANNOT GO 2 THT DANCE!!

**dancinfool: **ok it was sweet compliment the frst time, but now it's getting old…

**s3cr3tgngstr: **huh?

**dancinfool: **i know i'm an animal when it cums 2 dancing, but i don't think tht makes me disqualified frm the prty!

**s3cr3tgngstr: **ugh… let me try 2 explain… u do know wat's gonna happn if u show up there, rite?

**dancinfool: **um… i'll hav fun?

**s3cr3tgngstr: **NO! ur gonna stand out!

**dancinfool: **and that's a bad thing?

**s3cr3tgngstr: **yes it's a BAD thing! they'll crate u up and ship u 2 the infirmary 2 make sure ur not on drugs or sumthing!!

**dancinfool: **awww… u r TOO kind!! i rly didn't think tht u thought i was such a great dancer!!

**s3cr3tgngstr: **ya know wat… nvrmind. i swear i can't get through ur thick head sumtimes…

**dancinfool: **uh huh

**s3cr3tgngstr: **don't take it the wrong way

**dancinfool: **i'll try not 2… but anyway, do u know wat's going on w/ the penguins?

**s3cr3tgngstr: **um, not particularly…

**dancinfool: **they're so strange! u nevr see them, but then they'll appear out of no where!

**s3cr3tgngstr: **over the years, i've found tht they like 2 keep 2 themselves

**dancinfool: **well i wish they'd b a little more social! gees, it's like the zoo doesn't even hav a penguin exibit

**s3cr3tgngstr: **lol, i know wat u mean

**dancinfool: **or sumtimes when u look them, they'll giv u this weird glare… like they're counting the secnds untl u leave

**s3cr3tgngstr: **yeah, i've noticed tht they giv u tht glare a lot :)

**dancinfool: **well u don't exactly float their boat eithr

**s3cr3tgngstr: **;)

**dancinfool: **so I noticed that i havn't seen u around here in a long time! where hav u been?

**s3cr3tgngstr: **wat do u mean? i was on last nite.

**dancinfool: **u wer?

**s3cr3tgngstr: **yeeeees…

**dancinfool: **oh, i must'v missd u

**s3cr3tgngstr: **did u log on the end of our frst chat room session?

**dancinfool: **chat room session? the zoo had one w/o me?!

**s3cr3tgngstr: **i dunno! u tell me! i loggd off b4 u lst nite!

**dancinfool: **wat r u talking about??

**s3cr3tgngstr: **GOD, JULIEN! WAT IS WRONG W/ U?? ur acting like u've frgtn everything!!

**dancinfool: **julien? wat r u goin on about?

**s3cr3tgngstr: **ur name… ur name is julien… *smacks 4head*

**dancinfool: **uh, no… my name is alice…

**s3cr3tgngstr: **ALICE?!

**dancinfool: **YES, ALICE! I'M ALICE! and i DO suppose ur my co-worker, aaron, rite?

**s3cr3tgngstr: **er…

**dancinfool: **oh! this is john, isn't it?

**s3cr3tgngstr: **hey! wat do u know! i'm suddenly unconscious! hav a very good nite, goodbye.

_**s3cr3tgngstr has signed off**_

**dancinfool: **wondr wat got in2 him…

_**dancinfool has signed off**_

* * *

_Hello! Just to let everyone know, incase you were confused, I got Alice's personality from the episode "Tangled in the Web" where it shows her dancing/singing personality. Imagination is a strange thing…_


	4. Session 4

_Hello everyone! Okay, if you've never heard the song "Milkshake" by Kelis, you should listen to it for this chapter to fully make sense. Here's the link (just take the spaces out first):  
_http:// www. youtube .com/watch?v=rZ-FAV9fBII

_Thank you!_

* * *

_**smartypants has signed on**_

_**mizzottah has signed on**_

_**skippy has singed on**_

_**sexy_lemur_king has signed on**_

**mizzottah: **hey u guys! i came up w/ a game we can play on here

**sexy_lemur_king: **oooh! wat is it? tell me! wat is it?

**mizzottah: **okay… everything we say 2 each othr has 2 b 2 lyrics from a song

**skippy: **a challenge… i like it!

**smartypants: **so our convrsations hav 2 b entirely lyrics?

**mizzottah: **yep!i'll start: wat'cha wat'cha talkin' 'bout? boy… wat'cha wat'cha thinkin' 'bout?

**sexy_lemur_king: **my humps! my humps, my humps, my humps! my lovely lady lumps! check it out!

**smartypants: **o.o disturbia…

**skippy: **so now wat? julien kinda threw me off w/ "my humps"… strange thing to be "thinkin' 'bout" if u ask me

**sexy_lemur_king: **well i happen 2 b a big fan of the black-eyed peas, tnk u very much!

**mizzottah: **u guys! pleez don't stop!... the music

**smartypants: **just dance, it'll b ok

**skippy: **oh, shut up and drive

**sexy_lemur_king: **uh…

**skippy: **ur turn, ring tail

**sexy_lemur_king: **er… my humps…?

**smartypants: **fail

**mizzottah: **gosh! can't even play a game… any1 else got any ideas?

**sexy_lemur_king: **ROMANCE QUIZ!!

**skippy: ****NO!!**

**mizzottah: **ok, wat if we each type a sentence 2 form a story?

**smartypants: **that'll wrk

**mizzottah: **guess i'll start again…: once upon a time there was a dog

**sexy_lemur_king: **original…

**mizzottah: **QUIET, U!

**sexy_lemur_king: **anyhow: the dog was very bored becuz the games he played while IMing wer lame

**skippy: **then 1 day the dog met an annoying little cat tht loved 2 sing "my humps" and produce strange screen names…

**smartypants: **hehehe: the cat went up 2 the dog and introduced itself

**mizzottah: **"hello, my name is jul—i mean, whiskers"

**sexy_lemur_king: **"i am totally awesome, love to prty, and rule all things!"

**skippy: **the dog then replied, "ur also a big pain in the butt."

**sexy_lemur_king: **:( i'm strting 2 get a feeling tht this cat is supposed 2 b representing me…

**skippy: **no duh

**sexy_lemur_king: ***ninja glare* well then the cat replied… um…

_**cutencuddly has signed on**_

**sexy_lemur_king: **"EF U!"

**cutencuddly: **excuse me?

**mizzottah: **…not u, private

**cutencuddly: **did i interrupt sumthing?

**skippy: **if u count telling an extremely boring story as sumthing

**smartypants: **the ending was the best ;) lol

**cutencuddly: **oooh! a story?! wat was it about?

**skippy: **a dog met a cat

**cutencuddly: **…that's it?

**mizzottah: **no, tht wasn't _all _of it!

**sexy_lemur_king: **marlene… seriously…

**mizzottah: **ok, tht was most of it

**sexy_lemur_king: **well speaking of songs, i hav sumthing 2 tell u guys!

**smartypants: **we're not tlking about songs

**sexy_lemur_king: **we r now! so, as i was saying, i wrote a song!

**skippy: **_you? _wrote a _song_?

**sexy_lemur_king: **yup. wanna c the lyrics?! :D

**skippy: **not rly

**cutencuddly: **oh come on, skipper! let's c julien's song

**skippy: **don't say tht i didn't warn u if it's crap

**sexy_lemur_king: **alrighty then. R U READY 4 THE AWESOMENESS?

**smartypants: **if we must

**sexy_lemur_king: **_My leachy nuts bring all the girls to the tree, and they're like, "Wanna dance with me?" Of course… you wanna dance with me. I'll teach you, but there'll be a fee._

**mizzottah: **WTF?

**skippy: **wait a second… isn't tht a spin-off of "milkshake" by kelis?

**sexy_lemur_king: **hehe… wat r u talking about…?

**skippy: **_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, "It's better than yours." Damn right, it's better than yours. I could teach you; but I'd have to charge._

**sexy_lemur_king: **i don't believe it! KELIS REDID MY LYRICS!! darn u kelis!

**mizzottah: **no, u mean tht u redid her lyrics

**sexy_lemur_king: **did not!

**smartypants: **according to my findings, the song "milkshake" was released in 2003. u said tht u _just now _made up ur version, and it's 2009

**sexy_lemur_king: **she just has fastr publicists…

**smartypants: **it also says here tht there's debate to wat her "milkshake" actually is… *shivers* dare i ask wat ur "leachy nuts" are?

**cutencuddy: **…

**skippy: **SHOOT! PRIVATE, LEAVE! NOW!

**cutencuddly: **y do i always hav 2 leave? it's so unfair…

_**cutencuddly has signed off**_

**skippy: **so, u wer saying?

**smartypants: **plz don't make me repeat myself

**mizzottah: **bet tht dog and cat story is looking pretty appealing now, huh?

**smartypants: **u bet

**skippy: **so wat happens aftr "EF U!"? lol

**mizzottah: **DON'T START! i've heard enuf perverted things in this chat room 2 last a lifetime

**sexy_lemur_king: **yeah u guys! now come ovr 2 my habitat and eat sum of my leachy nuts! lol

**smartypants: **good 1

**mizzottah: **SHUT UP, I SAY! SHUT UP!

**skippy: **oh, sry, is this bothering u? giving u a bad feeling in ur milkshake, perhaps?

**sexy_lemur_king: **OMG LMAO!! XD

**mizzottah: **tht's it, i'm leaving

_**mizzottah has signed off**_

**smartypants: **well, thx 4 the memories, even tho they weren't so great… ha, song humor…

**sexy_lemur_king: **i'm gonna shove off, 2. heck knows where maurice is; i haven't seen him aftr he logged off of an IM session last nite. said sumthing about "IMing [being] a cruel world" or sumthing like tht. wait… wat did u guys say?

**skippy: **we nvr had a chat session lst nite

**sexy_lemur_king: **oh… well i rly don't care. nite.

_**sexy_lemur_king has signed off**_

**skippy: **we btr get going 2, kowalski. recon's in the a.m.

**smartypants: **and we're sitting rite next 2 each othr, so there's rly no need 4 the computers now

**skippy: **tht 2

_**skippy has signed off**_

_**smartypants has signed off**_


	5. Session 5

_This chapter is dedicated to savethespoons, because I had to open my big mouth and promise her a special Skipper/Marlene chapter. For all you Skilene fans, congrats, have fun. For all you Anti-Skilene fans, continue groaning in pain as I am, you're not alone. But don't worry, I made sure it wasn't all gooey-love-mush crap. ENJOY!_

* * *

_**skippy has signed on**_

_**mizzottah has signed on**_

**skippy: **hey, marlene! ur vet appointment's finally done?

**mizzottah: **yeah, i thought we wer NEVER gonna get out of there!

**skippy: **i know wat u mean

**mizzottah: **yup…

**skippy: **so…

**mizzottah: **sooo…?

**skippy: **um… it's raining

**mizzottah: **uh huh. any othr incredible statements u wnt 2 vocalize?

**skippy: **ya know, i tend 2 think of u whenevr it rains

**mizzottah: **rly? how so?

**skippy: **well, ur both just so pure and full of life! ur always full of energy and ready to help people. if rain got reincarnated into a living thing, it would be a marlene ;)

**mizzottah: **aww! u rly think i hav tht great of a personality?

**skippy: **definitely! u may not realize it, but u rly brighten up my hard days

**mizzottah: **define "hard days"

**skippy: **any day tht i hav 2 look julien

**mizzottah: **so basically ur saying tht i make everyday btr 4 u?

**skippy: **yeah, yeah u do

**mizzottah: **:D awwww! i sumtimes think of u when i c rocks. ur both strong, sturdy, and u both vary

**skippy: **vary?

**mizzottah: **personality wise. i've nvr rly seen ur sweet side b4

**skippy: **oh… well do u like my sweet side?

**mizzottah: **yes, i do, a lot

**skippy: **hmm, then maybe i should stay on my sweet side more often?

**mizzottah: **hehe, that would be nice :)

_**sexy_lemur_king has signed on**_

**sexy_lemur_king: **HEEEELLLLLLOOOOO NEIGHBORS! i am finally back from the vet!

**skippy: **great…

**mizzottah: **um, julien, if u don't mind, skipper and i wer kinda having a private conversation

**sexy_lemur_king: **ooh! wat about private? if u ask me, his accent is kinda annoying, don't u think?

**skippy: **SPEAK 4 URSELF!

**mizzottah: **no, i mean skipper and i wer having a conversation between us ONLY. no 1 else

**sexy_lemur_king: **oh oh oh! wer u tlking about sumthing romantical?!

**skippy: **y is everything romance w/ u?

**sexy_lemur_king: **look, don't worry, i get it, u don't wanna tell me wat's going on w/ ur relationship, no prob!

**mizzottah: **julien, we're not dating

**sexy_lemur_king: **sure ur not! *wink wink*

**skippy: **ugh

**sexy_lemur_king: **just ignore me, u won't even know i'm here!

**mizzottah: **erm, okay… wat were we saying?

**sexy_lemur_king: **_I'm bringin' sexy back! (Yeah!) Them other boys don't know how to act! (Yeah!) I think you're special, what's behind your back? (Yeah!) 'Cause you're burnin' up I've gotta get it fast. (Yeah! Take 'em to the bridge!)_

**skippy: **what the hell are you doing?!

**sexy_lemur_king: **i was _trying _to set a romantical mood 4 u guys

**mizzottah: **and u call the song "SexyBack" _romantic?!_

**sexy_lemur_king: **u can't go wrong w/ justin timberlake!

**skippy: **anyway marlene, would u care 2 eat breakfast w/ me 2morrow morning?

**mizzottah: **skipper, tht sounds great! i'll b rite ovr frst thing 2morrow

**sexy_lemur_king: **_IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'm too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt! Too sexy, too sexy! I'm too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt!_

**skippy: **o.O

**mizzottah: **JULIEN! can u just LEAVE?!

**sexy_lemur_king: **alrite, alrite, i'll keep quiet, i promise!

**mizzottah: **so wat time do u want me ovr there?

**skippy: **well our breakfast is served seven-hundred hours

**sexy_lemur_king: **_You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. (Do it again now.) You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel._

**mizzottah: **o.O OMFG I AM OFFICIALLY DISTURBED 4 LIFE

**skippy: **there's seriously a song w/ all tht crap?!

**sexy_lemur_king: **yup! luv the beat, u should look it up online

**skippy: **pass

**mizzottah: **but seriously tho, julien, could u please SHUT UP

**sexy_lemur_king: **if it makes u happy, i guess i'll leave…

**skippy: **PLEASE

**sexy_lemur_king: **well!

_**sexy_lemur_king has signed off**_

**skippy: **there's only 1 prsn i hate more than tht annoying lemur

**mizzottah: **who?

**skippy: **miley cyrus

**mizzottah: **i think we all agree. well i'll c u 4 breakfast in the morning. g'nite!

_**mizzottah has signed off**_

_**skippy has signed off**_

* * *

_Hi again! Just wanted to let you guys know that I won't be able to write another chapter of this fanfic until July 4th. On Saturday, June 14th, I'm leaving for the University of Kansas to attend DukeTIP's Summer Studies Program. So basically I'll be gone for three weeks experiencing college life while taking a college course, which will be pretty cool. But anyhow, I'm not going to have access to the computers there, so I'll see you all again in July!_


	6. Session 6

_Wow, it's been a while, hasn't it?! Like, what, almost three months? I'm sorry, I'm a jerk for not updating sooner, I know. But I've been SO busy finishing up DukeTIP, finishing summer assignments, still finding time to relax, and getting back into the swing of school, that I've had absolutely NO TIME to update. Not to mention my terrible author's block. Yes, I've had authors block for THREE MONTHS. It literally just ended last week when I got the idea for this session. Worst case of author's block I've ever had. Anywho, away with my rambling, off with the story!_

--

_**skippy has signed on**_

_**smartypants has signed on**_

_**l00secaNN0n has signed on**_

_**cutencuddly has signed on**_

**skippy**: nice 2 c u again, men! brilliant 2 take our meetings online, kowalski!

**smartypants**: thnk u, skipper

**skippy**: alright, let's get down 2 business. 2day we'll b playing a game

**l00secaNN0n**: ?

**skippy**: it's a nice little game called "would-you-rather"

**smartypants**: ooooh craaaaaap

**skippy**: wut?

**smartypants**: no offense, skipper, but wut does playing would-you-rather hav 2 do w/ our meetings?

**skippy**: becuz, kowalski, would-you-rather has 2 do w/ evaluating u—ur inside emotions tht is. doesn't tht sound like FUN?

**cutencuddly**: sounds painful…

**smartypants**: so… would-you-rather is our _evaluation_?

**skippy**: yeah sure

**smartypants**: -_-;

**skippy**: wut now soldier?

**smartypants**: this is gonna turn in2 1 of those IM sessions tht ends badly, isn't it? and by "badly" i mean "pervertedly"

**skippy**: kowalski, no. just no. i'm not julien! and i'm rly serious about playing would-you-rather. it will give me a good feel about how u men can handle situations

**smartypants**: handle situations?? but u've done bus loads of missions with us! shouldn't u know how we handle situations already?

**skippy**: well it's good 2 c tht u men agree, let's start!! question uno—would u rather use a sword or a gun as a weapon?

**smartypants**: a clipboard

**cutencuddly**: a teddy bear!

**l00secaNN0n**: BUTTONS

**skippy**: those wern't answer choices!

**smartypants**: do they hav 2 b?

**skippy**: YES, THEY HAV 2 B!

**cutencuddly**: but they both sound so violent…

**skippy**: tht's the point! u men hav 2 know how 2 defend urselves!

**smartypants**: but we already know how 2 defend ourselves

**skippy**: *face palm* oi… wutever i'm moving on. question dos—would you rather take a plane 2 an enemy-invested island or a boat?

**smartypants**: hmm… a plane, it would get us there quicker

**cutencuddly**: considering how us flying a plane went _last time_, a boat

**l00secaNN0n**: BUTTONS

**skippy**: WRONG! all of ya! the correct answer would b 4 us 2 _swim _there, tht way there would b a lesser chance of us being detected by the enemy

**smartypants**: wut happend w/ us sticking 2 the answer choices?!

**skippy**: INSUBORDINATION! question tres—would u rather choose a candle 2 light ur way though a dark alley or a flashlight?

**smartypants**: pssh, flashlight, duh! candles could easily burn out

**cutencuddly**: a flashlight… i'm not particularly fond of fire… and y r all the questions' numbers in spanish?

**l00secaNN0n**: BUTTONS

**smartypants**: …ok the "buttons" answer is srsly getting old

**skippy**: i would choose a flashlight personally, but i'd make sure i bring extra batteries… don't want the situation 2 end up like the 1 in the sewer

**smartypants**: true tht

**cutencuddly**: wut's w/ the gitup?

**smartypants**: wut's w/ u saying "gitup"? don't u mean "lingo"?

**l00secaNN0n**: FIIIISH

**skippy**: men, let's stay on task, please

_**sexy_lemur_king has signed on**_

**sexy_lemur_king**: hello silly penguins! how r u doing in these late-nite hours?

**skippy**: good lord… no…

**sexy_lemur_king**: ok, so i hav got 2 get ur guys' opinion on sumthing

**skippy**: if we giv u our opinion, will u LEAVE?

**sexy_lemur_king**: yes, yes, and i promise 2 make this very fast

**skippy**: carry on

**sexy_lemur_king**: so i jst finishd watching the movie of the harry potter, and how do u think my hair would look if i got it done like the lucius malfoy's?

**smartypants**: oh gosh i _hav _2 c this!

**cutencuddly**: _movie of the harry potter? _ wut's w/ the gitup?

**sexy_lemur_king**: u mean "lingo"?

**cutencuddly**: oh wutever!

**skippy**: sooo u want ur hair _long_ and _bleach blonde_?!?

**sexy_lemur_king**: is there a problem?

**skippy**: man, jst don't do it… u'll b evn more disliked than u r now…

**sexy_lemur_king**: i'm sry, wut?!

**skippy**: oh, nothing. now go away

**sexy_lemur_king**: ooohhhh i cannot b waiting any longer 4 my new haircut!!

_**sexy_lemur_king has logged off **_

**skippy**: ok, now tht tht distraction is ovr, can we continue plz?

**cutencuddly**: let's giv it a go, skipper!

**skippy**: alright! would u rather fight off a shark or a giant squid?

**cutencuddly**: …is there a third choice?

**skippy**: heheh, no. hey… where's kowalski?

**cutencuddly**: kowalski? oh he left 2 watch julien get his hair done.

**skippy**: and where's rico?

**cutencuddly**: he exploded _while _watching julien get his hair done.

**skippy**: and how do u know this?

**cutencuddly**: they txted me and told me

**skippy**: when did u get a cell phone!?

**cutencuddly**: a second ago. when u blinked.

**skippy**: T.T ok, i'v had enuf of this tomfoolery, i'm goin 2 bed

**cutencuddly**: _tomfoolery? _wuts w/ the gitup?

**skippy**: don't start w/ me, soldier.

**cutencuddly**: g'nite, skipper

**skippy**: nite, private

_**skippy has signed off**_

_**cutencuddly has signed off**_


End file.
